September 13, 2009

Thank you for your column Good Men Step in to become Dads. I have tried over the years to explain to my husband what he gave us, my daughter and me. I hope reading this he will finally understand. He was the best father I could have wished for my daughter and changed her life immeasurably. He lifted all the guilt I felt having a failed marriage. He was the gift of life for us.


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July 16, 2009


Thank you for being a contributor on Single Dad Life. Your articles on Dating and Sex have become a favorite for my readers.

Navigating these topics, along with the issues of living the life of a single father, other writers tip toe around the issues. Your writings go right to the heart of what really matters most to single dads, and single moms as well.

Not only do your articles consistently bring an overwhelming response, but I have actually received emails thanking me for bringing up certain issues. Your writings are helping these fathers deal with the difficult roller coaster ride of the life of a single dad.

We were recently recommended as the best single dad website by the divorce expert on I believe your articles are a major reason for this accolade. One of your articles was featured and highlighted on the website as well as the newsletter for this forum. Even more impressive, the divorce expert is a divorced single mom! Now that is what I call respect.

Thanks again Peter for helping make the website a success. You have shown me what it means to be a true professional.

Highest regards,

Barry Kahan

Founder & Editor

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February 25th, 2009
Re: Teens and the 'home haven' hypocrisy

Dear Peter,

I agree 100%! I have had many arguments over the years concerning the "degree of responsibility" parents should hold for harm that comes to their teenager while forbidden to enter their home.

We always told our daughter to come to us with anything and even offered to go pick her up ANY TIME she needed to come home. Thankfully she never needed to take us up on that offer but I feel that her sense of security and support may have helped her make the right decision to say no when she was tempted. In my teen years, (I am now over 50) parents most often used the phrase "I don't ever want to catch you doing whatever". So what did we do? We did our best not to get

I hope many parents of young teens or soon to be teens get this message. In today's society being locked out of the house overnight can have more tragic consequences than a cold sleepless night on a hard wooden bench.


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February 25, 2009

Hi Peter,

I just wanted to drop you a note to let you know I always enjoy your columns. I especially love how you are willing to tackle the hard problems -- loneliness, the joys of single-parent sex, the realities of "Holy-cow-now-my-kids-are-having-sex" -- manage to hit the right combination of seriousness, humour, and reality just about every time. Well done.

As a single, childless woman in my late thirties, my particular section of the dating pool is thick with single dads. Reading and remembering your words has helped me to understand them better, put myself in their shoes, and temper my own expectations as a result. So I wanted to say thanks.

Please keep up with the fabulous, helpful job. It's appreciated.


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February 25, 2009
Dear Peter

Boy are you going to get it for this one! Hang onto to your stance tho', I've seen the results you speak of in disenfranchised kids. But there's another part in the spectrum of bad parenting, and it's all too prevelant...those who don't give a damn as long as they don't know - and
often the reason is their own self involvement or substance abuse. No wonder our kids are so messed up.

Jan Pinney
(Still reading you)

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"Peter Ehrlich takes on some very tough topics and makes them palatable without sugar coating them. Both thoughtful and thought-provoking, he gets to the heart of a subject with candour, colour and a healthy dose of humour. He pulls no punches, making a good read guaranteed."

Leslee Mason, Writer

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"If you're looking for a bold, genuine voice, look no further than Peter Ehrlich. And did I mention controversial, as well as juicy?

As a blogger who has posted Peter's articles regularly, I'll be the first to say that his writing collects the most comments around."

Rachel Sarah
Single Mom Seeking
San Francisco, USA

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Dear Peter,

I haven't stopped crying since I got my first email from him at 10:00 this morning. It's now 2:00. Do you have any idea how much money I have spent in Mascara this week??!!! This whole thing has been very powerful and very moving.


(This note is from one of the families who came back together to talk, because in some way, they used my column as a catalyst to start talking again.)

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Your writing about being a single dads is uplifting and inspiring. Rather than blaming and complaining, your writing encourages single parents to look at how they can improve themselves as parents of children and as single people seeking new relationships. You move beyond the cliches about single dads and write sensitively and supportively for people who are coping with difficult situations. I appreciate your writing because it shows that you've been there, that you care about helping other single parents and their children and want to make a difference.

Elliott Katz
Author of Being the Strong Man A Woman Wants: Timeless wisdom on being a man

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Thank you for your timely and relevant article, "Kids Deserve Straight Teeth and Success At School." I immediately emailed it to my husband, who endured "the war of the Roses divorce" that lasted over 3 years and cost each party more than $60,000 in legal fees. Yes, that's a lot of dentistry!

I guess in between gnashing teeth, these two can somehow discuss straightening them? :-)

Kindest regards,

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Dear Peter,

I gave your article to my Ex and he read it at my place just before he took the boys to school. He didn't say a word and then left. I got an email from him later this morning and he thanked me for showing it to him. I realized that he left without saying anything because it made him cry too. Back and forth we've sent some very open and honest emails. The healing has begun!


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“Peter, I love your articles. Is a bit like listening to my thoughts aloud.”

Calgary, Canada

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I have maybe only once in my life written to anyone in response to an article that I have read.Yours made me "Laugh out Loud" and I just had to say that you’re dead on!
I myself have been a single parent for a while now, widowed actually, but I have several single parent friends of both sexes and we all have a chuckle if not an out right howl when we share our experiences

Thanks for the article!
Karen A

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Hello Peter,

I got a hoot from your article yesterday. I especially enjoyed the part about others being happy for you when you do eventually have sex. (Or even if there is a chance that you may be heading down that road!) You seem to hit the nail on the head on many aspects of single parenting and are able to put it into words for the average Joe. I guess that’s why you are a writer.

I’m sure you have a lot of loyal readers.

Toronto, Canada

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Thanks for writing that. I used to work for the Distress line way back and loneliness was the no. 1 problem I encountered. I understand completely about going to the grocery store for company but I just wanted to add that loneliness can be very real even in relationships such as marriage--ironically.

I thought you had a lot of guts writing that column.

Maria G.

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I'll bet you get lots of "I don't usually do this" letters but since I have been seeing your column in the Toronto Star I thought I should write and tell you how much I gain from reading your insights.

As a new traveller in the world of single-parenthood I am astounded by aspects of myself that I couldn't seem to get a handle on. I've never been so shaken by the simplest things - the sight of the kids pulling out of my driveway with their dad to stay at their "real" house, the fear of yet another legal envelope arriving at the door, the inevitable "missed" school correspondence...

Your articles do put things in a perspective that shows me that others survive, even thrive, in this life, and yes, when you have a good "working" relationship with the other parent life is so much better. This knowledge that others are wading in these murky waters shouldn't make me feel better but that's human nature I guess! Thanks for your humour and modesty and practicality. I know there are others like me who put down the paper and nod in agreement.


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Dear Peter,

Been there! Doing that! (looking for company in grocery stores of all places, thought I was the only one!) Thanks for your article, it hit home


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Hi, re: "It's too Easy To Wallow in Loneliness," October 1,2007

Dear Peter,

I really admire you for being so forthright and open about your feelings concerning being a single dad and feeling alone at times. I'm sure you must have received numerous emails from people talking about their own experiences.

It is rare for a man to be so expressive, especially in an article that will be read by so many.

Although I read this article 11 days ago, I keep thinking about it. Why? Perhaps because you were so amazingly honest, and I obviously must identify with some of your feelings.

Thanks again for your sincerity in the article, and also your chutzpah in letting your readers know the real you.

It struck a chord with me and I'm sure with many others.


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Hi Peter,

I just "noticed" your column a couple of months ago while reading the Star.
I enjoy each you write and agree the court system may be partial to the mom. I am
the proud mom (single) of two boys whose ex has chosen not to really be a part of
their lives, much to my disappointment. I think the courts are too hard on the
wonderful fathers out there who are good fathers and want to be there for their children.

However, I especially enjoyed your column in todays paper. You put a smile
on my face as it all rings very true.

I look forward to your column every second Monday in my Star.

Thank You


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“Just caught up with your did the subject justice.
I wonder how many men, who wished they had more contact
with their children, read your article and took that tentative
step....thanks to your heartfelt encouragement.

I think you might have swung the world a percent of a degree
with this one!

Good work Mr. E!”

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I’m enjoying a hot cup of coffee this morning and reading your article, nodding and smiling in familiarity. Thank you for starting my day with such a good laugh.

Kind regards,

Toronto, Canada

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Hello Peter,

Thanks for your uplifting and empathetic article on 'single parenting' sex. Such it is... being a doting single parent. For your future articles, I'm not sure if you will be investigating quality single parent social networking and dating services in the GTA, but those sorts of leads would be most appreciated and potentially useful, not to mention, at least anecdotally
entertaining for all concerned.

Also, sind Sie wirklich 'Ehrlich?' It certainly does appear to be that way, based on your frank observation of single parentdom. :)!


Toronto, Canada

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Hello Peter,

I have never been moved to respond to a newspaper column but I thought today's piece was so funny (and true) that I had to convey my "Two thumbs up" for your acute observations. And you are right, overall it's not so bad.

Toronto, Canada

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You have done it again! You have written an excellent article addressing a situation my ex and I have been going through. I have forwarded to him in hopes it will be a positive influence. Most of the time we are fairly good with each other but recently something happened and the escalation began.... Here's to hoping we get back on track.

Thank you, Beth

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I think it’s important to let people know when they have made an impact on you. I’m guessing you must wonder sometimes how your work is received. This is the 2nd article of yours that has hit the target for me. As you’re making a living you are also helping me to live my life!

Have a great day, Beth

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Dear Mr. Ehrlich,

I loved your article “Children Bridge divorce’s War Zone” especially at the end where

you say that “once you willingly have a baby with someone else, there is always love – somewhere.

I believe that the love gets lost along the way and is sometimes replaced by a hate that consumes the soul.

We bury the love and passion that we once had for each other. When your ex wife saw your tears (for her) and you saw her love for your son … there was a spark of recognition …(like wow! he/she doesn’t really hate me after all) …the love came out from under the hate.

Your story touched me because I am in a long term relationship that has seen many ups and downs. I have wanted to leave on many occasions but my daughter keeps me here. I look at her and I love her more than life itself. He loves her too. I know this sounds very strange but I love the way he loves her because through his love for her, I know he loves me too. And through all our disputes and grievances, she is the glue. We love each other but sometimes we are blinded by our selfishness. She is the symbol of our love that reminds us when we have forgotten.

Deep down, you still love your ex-wife but there are a thousand and one reasons why you’ve decided you can’t. I believe that love is never-ending. We can’t turn it on or off so we can bury under a mountain of heavy trash and when our heart get heavy and starts to ache we use that pain as a weapon against the things we love.

I love happy endings, especially the part where your heart has been “freed from the shackles of extreme prejudice” and now the love can flow out and touch the world.

What a great story!!

Best Regards,


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Thank you for your kind words. But we the readers should be so honoured. Your articles are very well written, funny, revealing and refreshingly honest.

You give us access to your innermost self and thoughts. We get to have a peek into your window and I am sure that a lot of readers will see themselves through your eyes.

I enjoying reading fiction but I find real life stories extremely fascinating!!


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This e-mail has been very hard for me to write, I guess because it's close to Christmas. I wonder if deep down inside most of us, in this club, feel the same way about our former spouses as you so emotionally described.

This morning, I was sitting in one of the many waiting rooms at Sunnybrook Health Science Centre, waiting for my Dad, when I came across your article. I silently wept when I read it. It summed up my feelings exactly, and I am so happy for you that you had the opportunity to demonstrate your feelings in a way that was noticed, particularly by a third party, the Nurse, "Who Gets It". I don't want to know about how that event played out, because I am feeling like in some cases, we rarely get any recognition for our feelings towards our Partners, because it is overshadowed by the "he-said, she-said" negotiation process that we all participate in.

I have an acquaintance whom I sit beside in one of my support groups, that was in a similar situation whereby It took an event for them as well, for him to get a "Second Chance" at repairing his relationship. I am so happy for him as well, but it still just adds to the weight I carry around wishing the same thing for me. Not an hour goes by that I don't think of my family, and my Ex. I have had the opportunity to have married two great women, and in both cases, life seemed to get in the way, and while I watched, I was completely helpless as each of them emotionally left me. I tried and tried for a second chance with each of them, but felt discarded each time.

I sit in my darkened apartment with kids coming and going, but waiting for the call that never comes. With each year that goes by, I get scolded by various therapists, for not being able to let go. So, many of us suffer in silence hoping for an event where we may be needed, and able to demonstrate how we really feel.

Sure we will recover, we are survivors, but the emptiness caused by the absence of love from them and the children is sometimes more that we can bear. I would crawl over broken glass if she would call me and ask for something from me, other than money of course, which is never a good conversation.

Those of us discarded Dad's "Who Get It" and don’t harass, or hurt, or abuse, our loves, are proud of you for your actions when you went to her in the hospital for her sans any Marital Politics.

Well Done, great article.

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